I have been so uninspired lately. I wish I could come out of my funk and get back to being me again. I hate slumps like this. I feel like a bad mom, bad wife, bad everything. Yes I am whining, complaining, and just plain pissed off half the time lately. PMS all month? Maybe. Worried about my heart problems? Maybe. Reliving the day at night and remembering all the things that went wrong instead of went right? Maybe. Pessimistic. For sure. Bad mom? Not all that bad, but need some improving in the play area. Ava making a 3 year old transition that is turning her into someone else? For sure. Am I sad about that? Yes. Am I able to handle it? Not yet. I got mad one day and kicked something with my foot. Now Ava has been acting out like that too. I feel like shit about that and haven't gotten over it yet. I love my family and I love my life and all the blessings I have been handed...blah, blah, blah. I wish I could be more like that. You see what I mean. I am in a bad place. I hope writing it down and coming back to read it will make me realize what a selfish, unhappy, brat I am.
Ava put my rosary under my pillow and said it would give me good dreams. Maybe I should be more like her. I will sleep with it under my pillow tonight and hope for a miracle. :-)
5 comments:
prayers for you, my dear friend- and yes- it seems like they turn into different people when they turn 3!!!
Oh boy I have so been there (am there). You know what I am going to say..... you can wish and hope and pray your day away. But you have to decide to make some concrete changes before things will change. Let's talk this weekend. Let's make some good things happen for you. You are a blessing to so many - you just forget!
blech. how's that for an uplifting comment. blechity blech blech blech. i'm in an off slump too and today was a doozy. oh wait, not about me....
i agree with your other commenter about making the choice to do something different. of course, i'm not sure if i really understand it completely because about every other day i'm making the choice not to loose my schiz. ;) so, no great advice. just commiserating. and praying.
We all have 'em. One day a week I feel like a horrible mom for some reason or another. You aren't alone my friend! Let's play soon....that'll make us happy. :) Praying for you.
just read this :( sorry i'd missed it. sending you love!!
Post a Comment