I read a great article today in PARENT magazine that got me thinking. Am I teaching my daughter the gratification that comes from giving to others, and how much contact are we having in the real world? I agree we are all headed down a road where community no longer involves actually helping real people, it involves how may friends you have on Facebook or followers on Twitter, clicking "like", or texting instead of having actual face time. "Empathy, the primary emotion that inspires people to help others, doesn't develop through electronic media." I wish everyone would realize this! Their studies show kids who volunteer do better in school and are less likely to try drugs, good enough for me. It shows kids are healthier and doing volunteer work that involves personal contact makes people feel better, builds confidence and self-worth. Even better! The buck stops here. We are going to get more involved in some way. My parents taught me to give, help, and have empathy, but somewhere along the electronic era, I am guilty of becoming out of touch. I am so close to removing myself from Facebook and the blog world. I love the contact with people I haven't seen in years and love to keep up on every ones lives, BUT we forget to actually get involved with our friends, family, and community.
I'm not saying we will volunteer or give every week, but if we could start somewhere and show Ava how good it feels to help other's, even this early in life, can build a character in her that may not other wise surface. It's easy to spoil your only daughter, especially one you waited 5 years for, but life is not all about giving to ourselves. It can be easy. They suggest praising your child for sharing with other kids, picking up trash at the local park, visiting elderly neighbors, visiting an animal shelter and donating supplies, making birthday cards, and actually calling or stopping by to visit friends and family. I feel good we do these things, so I will take it a step further and pick a kid friendly cause. GenerationOn.Org. That's where I will pick a charity, and hopefully find a local spot with similar needs.
It's time for this family to stop focusing on what the world can do for us and instead find the smile that comes from feeling so good about giving back.
6 comments:
Awesome! I haven't found anything Christopher and I can do together- yet. But I get out once a month and volunteer my time with Main Street Ottumwa. This allows me a break for about an hour away from him, and real adult interaction. Let me know if you find a program that's 'kid' friendly!
I remember happily going to my friend's house to be with them and got put to work out in the garden or cleaning the house. And none of us kids minded because we were still hanging out. Many of hours spent pulling weeds, laying mulch, washing dishes, etc., and I have only have happy memories of the fun games we made up and conversations we had. And it was nice having some adults around sometimes too.
I was a lot better than sitting around complaining about being bored or not being able to agree on what to do.
I feel mean, but I try to make Stephen's friend's pick up when they're done playing here. Let us know if you need any helpers. We'd love to clean up a park or something. I know Foster Park is normally trashy :\
Ain't that the truth?! Mallory LOVES animals, so we go to the Heartland Humane Society and walk the dogs twice a month or so, and play with the kittens! She would stay for HOURS! Good for you...hope we see you this summer!
:) love this. i've been thinking about finding something for the girls to help me with. i was afraid to ask which of their stuffed animals they wanted to send to the kids in joplin who lost all theirs (because i thought they'd keep em all!). But we will find a way. I agree completely. You made me cry at the point "a daughter ... you waited 5 years for" :)
I miss you. I love your thoughts. Don't stop blogging, please. But I hear you - I took a break from FB and I've been emailing. I feel like it's better than "liking" everything and leaving brief and non-personal messages.
Take care of you. Let us know what you decide.
I found some fun things to do on the website. Visit for some great ideas on easily doing things to get more involved.
Julie-love the idea about walking the dogs. Ava would totally dig that. We may see you out there sometime.
Cortney-miss you too! You will laugh that I sat with Ava the other day discussing giving some toys away, which she never plays with, and she claimed to play with EVERYTHING! She may be a little young to understand the whole giving part, so that's why I wanted to try a different approach to teaching empathy. Giving away toys right now is clearly not going to do that. haha I love your blog just as much! I just wish I had more time to comment on all the posts. I love your thoughts as well and appreciate knowing some of your's could be mine. :-) Maybe some day we will live closer again. :-(
Elizabeth-sounds like a perfect way to spend summers as a kid, and never feel mean for making kids pick up.
Sarah-so jealous you get out even once a month! :-)
Wonderful post! I was staring down at Kieran yesterday- he's still so small... but all I could think to wish for him is that he is self confident, finds contentment in small things, and that he is empathetic with others. Those are all hard things to teach. I worry about lack of empathy ALL THE TIME in our society. And keep posting... it helps remind us all the important things... XO Kelly
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